Day Seventeen into a Year of Discipline....
Day Seventeen of doing devotions regularly.
At first it was wonderful. I felt disciplined and excited that I was getting a handle on my spiritual life. I was being very good at making sure that my devotions were done early in the day. But then the inevitable thing happened . . . I put off doing them until later on in the day. I had things to do until late in the evening. I was tired. So tired.
At that point, I had a choice. I could go to bed and throw away my discipline, or I could do it. What did I do, I'm sure you are all asking with bated breath. Well, I sat down, and I did them, with much help from my husband Luke. I kept falling asleep and jerking awake as I read my Bible. I kept falling asleep while I was trying to pray, but I kept waking myself up (with help from my hubby). And we both did it. We finished our devotions and we did our couple devotions as well.
As I was thinking about it, I realized something. I knew I didn't get much out of my devotions that night (or the few nights were things like that have happened), but it wasn't so much about what I was getting out of, but rather what I was putting into it. It was more important that I did my devotions and continued in the habit of it, then it was to get something amazing out of it. Now, every night shouldn't be me falling asleep and jerking awake, but when that is what it takes to get it done, then I should do that. It is better to continue in the habit than to just give up. Putting the effort into the discipline is part of the discipline.
As Rhonda H. Kelley says "Self-control is definitely a behavior - a deliberate action, the ability to act . . . Behaviors including self-control are learned responses . . . Remember, recommitment to divine discipline is an ongoing process, a daily decisions." (Kelley, Personal Discipline 21, 26).
Not only that but, "He stresses the truth that 'self-discipline is doing something even if you hate it or don't feel like doing it.' In other words, discipline is not needed to do things you like. It is necessary to do the difficult things in life. You must discipline yourself to do those things that are difficult for you!" (Kelley, Personal Discipline 27).
As day seventeen comes to a close, I am reminded that I need to continue to press forward towards the goal. I need to make time for God. I need to make it a priority. And when I am so tired I can barely keep my eyes open, I still need to do the hard things and continue on towards discipline.
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